The Great Sage
by Primordial Vortex
Summary: Uzumaki Naruto had been alone for the majority of his life. The Hokage was too busy, and too few were willing to give him a chance. The acknowledgement of the Great Fox on his birthday was the greatest gift he could have asked for. AU. Older!Naruto HIATUS


**FOREWORD**

 **Hello everybody, Vortex here. I've posted some Potter fanfiction to the site before and this is my first true foray into the Naruto fandom. I've dabbled before in my older stories, but those will never see the light of day again.**

 **So, some warnings!**

 **This fic is solely Naruto. While it MAY contain** _ **elements**_ **from other fandoms, it is NOT a crossover.**

 **Secondly, you'll probably notice that I'm setting a fairly fast pace. This chapter will go through quite a bit. This is deliberate. I want to be done and over with wave no later than chapter 4. One of the biggest trends in the entire Naruto fandom is that people hit wave or the chunin exams and then the story just slams on the fucking breaks and never updates ever again. Either that or it's 36 fucking chapters and 400k words in and we've only hit the chunin exams. I'm trying very hard NOT to do that. This does NOT mean that I will be skimping on detail. I've gotten the taste for 10k+ chapters with my Dragon HP pilot and it appears that they're here to stay. I won't guarantee 10k+ on EVERY chapter, but I will certainly try.**

 **I will also be trying very hard to keep bashing to an absolute minimum. I don't like it myself, so why should I make you all read it? If any bashing shows through, it will most likely not be intentional.**

 **Now, I'll get it out right out of the gate; Naruto will be extremely powerful. Not exactly at the start – though he will be more powerful than even canon Sasuke was at that point - and not exactly all at once, but his endgame will be… godlike.**

 ***sunglasses***

 **This is due to the fact that I'm actually basing Naruto off an actual deity. I won't say which one right away, but I've given quite a few hints for you guys to make an educated guess if you're familiar with the source. This deity is absolutely one of my all-time favorites in all of mythology. Certainly, he's in the top 3 at the very worst. I'm really excited for this and I'm going to have a blast writing it. He WILL have some other abilities of course, this being Naruto, so it won't be a carbon copy. He is also fully aware of Kurama and has been for years. He has yet to open the seal obviously, but he already has the Negative Emotion Sensing. All the Jinchuriki have gifts from the Biju save him, so I decided to make that the Kyuubi's gift.**

 **As you'll be able to tell, this already starts off as an AU. Naruto is 14, first of all. It never made sense to me that Naruto could fail the exam three times and still be the same age as the rookie nine. They weren't false exams because everyone made a really big deal about him failing them. I also can't see it being a fast-track, because if he had that opportunity as the acknowledged dead-last why the fuck didn't Sasuke? There could be a perfectly valid explanation for it, but I'll just take it as my excuse. Therefore, Naruto was only in the same class as the rookie nine for his final year – his third repeat of the final year. This causes waves; some minor, some major. First major observed change will be Sakura's interactions with him. Another is that – unlike most fics – Naruto isn't all that close to Hiruzen or Iruka. Consequences of knowing of Kyuubi early, among other things.**

 **^ A clarification: I'm fully aware that canon Naruto is twelve. This is an AU and that is the excuse I'm going with for his age. Just a little something to try to justify it.**

 **Now, pairings…. Eh, I'll keep it to myself. I'm not entirely sure on this front yet anyway. However, they will not be Yaoi. Well, at least not the main pairing, and if I do end up writing one, it won't be in your face.**

 **This is the** **forth version of this opening that I've written. Forth. All of them but the third and fourth different in starting point. Starting always feels like the hardest thing for me, at least in the Naruto fandom. I really was not satisfied with either of the previous two iterations, so I scrapped them. Then I overpowered Naruto in the third version and gave too many Deity hints on top of it. I feel like this one was the best offering.**

 **As a final note, if you want to know what Naruto looks like currently, imagine him as a younger Naruto version of Bleach's Ichigo post-Dangai training. Same hair, a bit shorter and younger-looking since he's only 14, but a decent bit more muscular. His musculature is between that and Jiraya. Not exactly bulky, but not as skinny as post-Dangai Ichigo. Also, his Chakra is not blue. It is golden. Like in the canon manga. Blue was something that the anime came up with.**

 **So without further ado, I give you,**

 **The Great Sage**

 **-]|[-**

' _I wonder if they're hungry enough yet._ ' Hatake Kakashi mused as he turned his eyes upward, taking note of the position of the sun. ' _About 8:30. Nah, I'll let them stew a while longer._ ' He was walking through the shopping district, but despite the amazing weather and fresh, clean air, he was still feeling slightly apprehensive. This was to be the seventh team given to him these past years, and what a team it was.

Uchiha Sasuke, twelve. Obito's distant cousin and the sole loyal Uchiha left in the village. And boy, what an Uchiha he was. Top of his class. Great grades in all practical arts with the worst in cooperation. If the Chunin Examiners that ran the academy were to be believed, he was the best thing since sliced bread.

The boy certainly had potential, but he had his flaws. Widely praised and put on the 'genius' pedestal by most who knew him in class, the boy had become arrogant. He was a loner, and believed in doing things himself. He was an avenger – self-proclaimed – and would need to be knocked down several notches. He would likely find cooperation with his teammates difficult, and did not truly have the attitude of a Konoha ninja.

Then there was the girl; Haruno Sakura, twelve. What a case she was. She was probably one of the largest fan girls Kakashi ever had the misfortune to lay eyes on. She was 'in love' with Sasuke, and likely had not put nearly as much effort into practicing the Kunoichi arts as she had making her Sasuke shrine.

She also had potential. The Examiners from the Academy had showered praise on her for her intelligence and control over her chakra. That was perfect for iryo-nin training, or perhaps even genjutsu. They also claimed she had random spouts of much greater strength than normal and –somehow – periods where she was more outspoken than usual. Unfortunately, the girl had no chakra reserves to speak of. She likely would get tired after only a few minutes of Tree-Walking. While she was said to also hit decently hard, Taijutsu was also not her strong point. She weakened her body with her idiotic dieting. She would likely end up being the weak-link in their examination.

Then there was the last one… Uzumaki Naruto, fourteen. His sensei's son. By all rights, he was the one Kakashi had to worry about the least. On paper, Naruto was an abysmal ninja. His written test scores were garbage. His Taijutsu barely deserved to be called such. His ability to cast genjutsu was nonexistent, even if he seemed to be able to ignore their effects entirely somehow. His only upsides – according to the Academy – were his Ninjutsu (which was decent. He could use the **Kawarimi** and the **Henge** especially to great effect) and his stealth (which was absolutely _absurd_ ). Kakashi himself had been on the receiving end of that during his ANBU stint.

But Kakashi prided himself on being a ninja who looked underneath the underneath. Naruto's record felt… _wrong_. First, there were his three failures to graduate. Each and every single time Naruto failed to graduate, it was because of the same technique; the **Bunshin**. The regular clone jutsu was widely regarded as the easiest of the three core Academy techniques. Despite that fact, Naruto was fully capable of using the other two while being unable to use the most basic. And Naruto _had_ managed to pass this year – despite originally failing – and he did it by learning the **Kage Bunshin.** In _two hours_. If that wasn't enough, he went on to _cripple_ a traitorous chunin.

Kakashi couldn't have had any more red flags waving around in his head if Naruto had come in wearing one on his head. His quick learning of that technique told Kakashi two things; Naruto must have an absolutely insane amount of chakra and likely wouldn't grow tired even if the exam went on for the whole day. Well, not chakra exhausted anyway. Physical exhaustion was another, though his endurance had also been pointed out in his file. It also told him that he was an absurdly fast kinesthetic learner.

No, what truly set Kakashi off was his crippling of Mizuki. Traitor and moron he may have been, Mizuki was still a chunin specifically selected to teach at the academy. They didn't simply pick names out of a hat. This – Kakashi mused – could mean either one of two things; either Naruto held back during the Academy or he had been held back. Kakashi doubted the second was the case, because even the stupidest 'Demon Hater' wouldn't think to blatantly defy the Hokage in his own Academy.

No, Naruto likely was much stronger than he let on, and Kakashi resolved to not let himself get caught off guard.

 **-]|[-**

Kakashi arrived silently and observed his students-to-be. Sasuke was sitting on top of a stump, eyes twitching every so often. He looked about as furious as a stoic loner could. He wore a blue shirt with an oversized neck, with another long-sleeved white shirt under it. He had plain off-white shorts with a kunai pouch tied to his right leg. His Hitai-Ate was tied around his forehead, making his really dark blue – almost black – hair take up a really unfortunate shape.

Naruto was lounging with his back to a different post, and his hands behind his head. He looked like he didn't have a care in the world. He had orange pants that appeared to be too short for him, and an orange, blue, and white jacket. He looked like an orange paint can had vomited on him, to be honest. He was using his Hitai-Ate as a belt, and his spikey, blonde, longish hair was flowing lightly in the breeze. He was the largest of the trio, being older for one. He was much taller – though shorter than Kakashi himself – and much more muscular.

Sakura was wearing a red Kunoichi dress with dark greenish spandex shorts underneath. Her Hitai-Ate was on top of her head, framing her – frankly _too_ luscious – pink hair nicely. She looked to be the hungriest of the trio. Kakashi had to bite back a groan when he realized that the foolish girl probably skipped dinner the previous night on top of breakfast that morning.

Well, he figured he'd made them wait long enough. "Hello everyone!" He said cheerfully.

"You're late!" Kakashi had to hold back a groan of pain as both Naruto and Sakura roared at him. Boy, the two of them certainly had a nice set of lungs.

"Maa, sorry, sorry. A black cat crossed my path so I had to take the long way around!" He exclaimed with an inward chuckle. Sakura was almost spitting in rage at the comment.

"LIAR!" She screamed. Her two teammates weren't much better.

Kakashi winced, "Well, enough time wasting." If glares could kill, Kakashi was fairly certain he'd already be dead, salted, and put in a freezer somewhere. He eye-smiled at the three, "So, your test is to get these-" he showed them two shiny silver bells dangling on a string, "-bells from me by any means possible. You have until noon." He grinned evilly, deciding to get them back for Sakura's screeching, "Anyone who doesn't have a bell by noon not only will be tied to a log AND sent back to the Academy for another year, but will also have to watch as I eat their lunch." The tension in the in the clearing skyrocketed as the statement hit them. They stared at him in disbelief, not quite sure what to say.

Then, it was broken by two loud rumbles echoing in the clearing, from the angry stomachs of a blushing Sakura and a twitching Sasuke. Naruto looked at the two in disbelief, "Did you two really not eat anything before showing up? Man, and they call me the idiot." He cackled, pointing and laughing at the two. Sasuke joined Sakura in flushing angrily.

"I believe I told you not to eat." Kakashi said menacingly, though inwardly he was elated that at least one of them hadn't followed his rules to the letter. Maybe there was some hope for this dysfunctional group after all.

"And I ignored it." Naruto said cheerfully, "What kind of moron would knowingly go into a dangerous situation hungry and with no energy?" He gained a look as if he'd just had an epiphany, slapping his right fist into his left palm in realization, "Oh right! These idiots!" He resumed laughing his head off.

Kakashi grinned inwardly, and decided to stir the pot a bit more. He eye-smiled and exclaimed, "I know right? I didn't think any of you would actually follow that stupid order." Sakura and Sasuke especially looked like steamed lobsters, glaring at the two of them furiously. Sasuke's teeth were audibly grinding. "Well, let's get on with it." Kakashi chuckled as he tied the bells to his belt, "Oh, and you might want to come at me with the intent to kill, otherwise none of you will get a bell."

Sakura gasped "But sensei! What if you get hurt?"

Kakashi inwardly facepalmed, "Don't you worry about that. Now, beg-"

"But sensei, there are only two bells!" Sakura cut in again, having broken from her angry embarrassment long enough to notice that fact.

Kakashi grinned evilly, "I guess that means at least one of you is getting sent back to the Academy." Sasuke and Sakura's gazes hardened, while Naruto yawned disinterestedly. "Ready…sta-" He cut himself off as he casually slammed Sasuke into the ground with his arm twisted behind his back, "I don't believe I said go yet." He said cheerfully as he twisted Sasuke's arm rather harshly.

Naruto looked interested and was grinning, while Sakura let out a distressed cry of, "Sasuke-kun!" as the boy groaned in pain.

Kakashi let the boy go finally, and he climbed to his feet rubbing his sore arm. "Now…go!" Two of the ninja-to-be leapt away rapidly, looking to put as much distance as possible between them and their crazy teacher. ' _They've hidden well._ ' Kakashi mused, ' _I know where they are, of course, but a mid-level chunin would likely have some issues finding them…except._ ' He turned a queer eye to Naruto, who was just standing there, resplendent in his orange pants and his eyesore of an orange, blue, and white jacket, "You're a little off you know." He said conversationally to the oldest of his students.

Naruto cracked his neck to the side, "Yeah, I don't feel like playing hide-and-seek right now." He grinned, and tore off his orange jacket, leaving his torso clad only in a tight ninja-mesh shirt. He also had some metal bracers on his arms.

Elsewhere, Sakura blushed furiously as she gaped at Naruto's torso in shock, ' _Ho-holy crap! Naruto is_ _ **hot**_ _! When the hell did that happen?_ ' Naruto's back was to her, so she couldn't see the large seal seemingly tattooed on top of Naruto's abdomen, but she could see his tightly muscled back. He wasn't a body builder by any means, but he clearly took care of himself. ' _Damn that ugly jacket! Cha!_ ' Her Inner Self cursed, and she mumbled silently with a slight nosebleed, "I still love Sasuke-kun, but I wouldn't have minded seeing that much eye-candy every day."

Kakashi on the other hand, eyed the proudly displayed seal on his abs, "You sure you should be showing that off?"

Naruto shrugged, "If they can't handle the truth, then I don't really need em. I am who I am."

Kakashi smiled slightly, glad to see that his harsh younger years hadn't proven too much for the bundle of joy he had watched over. "Well…" He smirked, and reached into his equipment pouch. Elsewhere, Sasuke and Sakura stiffened as they watched him reach for a weapon. Both facepalmed as he took out an orange book and started reading, "Whenever you're ready then."

Naruto's eye twitched violently, "Oh, you are going to regret that." He grinned evilly, "You better not take me lightly, scarecrow!"

Kakashi waved his hand nonchalantly, "Maa, maa, I just want to know what happens next. It won't matter against you guys anyway."

Now, if there was one thing that got Naruto's gears grinding, it was being taken lightly. With a growl, glowing golden chains made out of pure chakra burst from his back and rapidly speared towards the shocked Kakashi. The older man would forever deny yelping, but for a second it was not Uzumaki _Naruto_ who he was facing. His book found itself back in his pouch in the blink of an eye and he dodged as fast as he could.

The barb-tipped chains speared into the earth with loud crunches and gouged trenches into the earth as if it was water. Dirt exploded into the air as the chain cut through it, sending clumps of grass flying. Kakashi landed, and was forced to evacuate from his location as a second chain speared through from behind. Kakashi's jump took him closer to Naruto, who grinned viciously.

The teenager charged, looking to engage with a haymaker as soon as Kakashi landed. Kakashi almost shook his head in disappointment. That wasn't even Academy Taijutsu. He landed, rapidly getting within Naruto's guard and unleashed a vicious body punch into his young student's gut.

But instead of bending over with spittle flying out of his mouth as Kakashi had anticipated for the amount of force he put into it, the boy barely grunted. Instead, he smirked viciously as his right hand shot forward and grabbed the back of Kakashi's neck. Instantly, his leg muscles coiled and his knee exploded forward, driving itself into the large log Kakashi had substituted with.

Naruto sputtered as he waved the newly made sawdust away from his face, coughing slightly. He looked around, and Kakashi was nowhere in sight. His eye twitched, "I thought I said I wasn't in the mood for hide and seek!" He roared as he drew his leg up and slammed his foot into the ground.

Sakura screamed as the earthquake Naruto had caused knocked her straight out of the tree she had been hiding in. She moaned as she rubbed her head in pain. She shook herself with a gasp and took her perch again, more carefully anchored this time. She gaped as soon as the dust cleared. Where once had been nice, green grass, there now was a deep, couple-meter-wide crater. And sitting at the bottom was a crouching, wide-eyed Kakashi, holding his hands over his head ridiculously as if he had been swimming through the earth.

Nearby, Sasuke Uchiha was apoplectic with rage. "What the hell is this?" He growled to himself. "That's the dead last! How the hell is he this strong?" He ground his teeth together harshly enough to be painful, "Where the hell did he get this power? _I'm_ the one who needs it! I must kill that man!"

Inside the newly-made crater, Kakashi was staring at his student, slightly nonplused. ' _That wasn't chakra enhanced._ ' He thought blithely. ' _Right, don't get hit._ ' He stood from his weird pose and patted himself off nonchalantly. "So, I was right. You did fake your strength in the Academy." He said conversationally.

Naruto blinked at him, "No I didn't. I failed three times for real. My Taijutsu is garbage. I'm just _**really**_ strong. Of course, I couldn't show that off. Couldn't break one of the poor civilians. I'd probably get in trouble."

Kakashi could swear he felt a violin string snap inside his head, "You expect me to believe that?" He asked dubiously, "Give me at least some credit. A complete failure couldn't have made a crater that size nor could they have used the Chakra Chains like that. Nor, for that matter, would they have known where I was." He spoke slowly, as if to a small child.

Naruto chuckled, "Not my fault the Academy is full of idiots." He grinned, "The largest portion of the final exam in the **Bunshin**! Not sure why, seeing as how it's the easiest of the three. If you asked me to make a regular clone, I still wouldn't be able to do it."

Kakashi counted to five in his head with his eyes closed, "You legitimately failed the Academy because of the **Bunshin**?" He deadpanned.

Naruto laughed, "I'm a fucking Uzumaki. Even _without_ **that,** I would have had trouble with that technique. I could break a nail and lose more chakra than that stupid, useless technique needs."

Kakashi took a deep breath, "But that doesn't mean you can't pass! One of last year's teams has a student with absolutely no talent in Ninjutsu or Genjutsu! If your other skills shine you can still be passed through with an exception."

Naruto's grin froze on his face. Then it shattered. "What?" he asked flatly.

Kakashi nodded, "Granted, you have to catch the eye of a more experienced ninja and have them vouch for your potential, but it is a very reasonable method of passing."

Naruto's began to twitch violently, "You're telling me I wasted two fucking years in that boring hellhole when I could have already been a ninja!" His teeth ground together.

Kakashi sweatdropped, "…Looks like it?" Naruto's twitching increased in intensity. Kakashi unknowingly rubbed salt in the wound with his next statement, "Your strength alone could have caught the eye of a Taijutsu specialist."

Naruto exploded in rage, while a certain fox was howling in laughter inside his head. He stomped off, golden chakra visible around him as he disappeared into the trees. Then, a loud rumble echoed through the field as a trio of trees collapsed following loud thuds. The loud impacts they made as they crashed to the dirt made Sakura wince over in her hiding spot. Kakashi blinked, "Was it something I said?" He asked the air innocently.

He then nonchalantly stuck two of his fingers into the tiny shuriken that had been moments from impacting his body, stopping them in their tracks. Sasuke exploded out from his cover and engaged Kakashi in a violent Taijutsu duel.

It immediately became clear to Kakashi that – while Sasuke was extremely skilled – his current unexplained rage was hindering Sasuke far more than it was aiding him. He was faster and hitting harder, for sure – even if it was barely noticeable to a Jonin as strong as Kakashi - but he was also overextending and putting far more energy into his attacks than he should have.

Growling as his fingers brushed against the bells, Sasuke reached just a bit more but was violently kicked away by Kakashi. Spit flew from his mouth as he impacted the floor and rolled thrice before scrambling to his feet.

He growled, "You'll find I'm different than that loser!" He yelled, and began putting hand signs together.

Kakashi's eyes widened, ' _He has the chakra for this?_ ' He mused in surprise.

Sasuke roared, " **Katon: Gokakyu no jutsu**!" A large fireball – bigger than both of them combined in fact – screamed out of Sasuke's mouth. Kakashi's eyes widened, before it impacted him and exploded.

When the smoke cleared, Sasuke clicked his teeth at seeing the man missing. "Left? Right? Above?" His eyes widened, as he moved to jump away, but it was too late.

"Try below." Kakashi eye smiled at him from above. He was crouching in front of the boy with his orange book open, " **Doton: Shinju Zanshu no** **Jutsu** success." The boy – who was buried up to his neck in the dirt – growled at him, "You were right." He mused idly, "You _were_ different. Naruto got to walk away."

Sasuke snarled, "Let me out of here!"

Kakashi giggled perversely, "Oh, Mitsuki-chan, you're so naughty!" He walked away, uncaring of his student's predicament.

Sasuke struggled mightily, muscles straining ineffectually. He groaned and gave up for the moment, sighing. Then he stiffened, and looked around as best he could. There were largish ants crawling near him, and it appeared that he'd unsettled one of their nests. They looked angry. Sasuke growled, "I hate him."

 **-]|[-**

"Sup, asshole!" Naruto said cheerfully, getting a growl out of the buried boy. Sasuke had a few red bite marks on his face and neck, but had come up with a way of putting fire chakra around his hole to stop the ants from coming closer once more. Naruto got behind Sasuke and reached into the ground as easily as if it had been water, grabbing the boy by the arm pits. With a small grunt, Naruto wrenched Sasuke from his prison. "Man, Scarecrow did a number on you." He chuckled.

Sasuke swallowed his pride and anger with a struggle, and mumbled a quick, "Thanks."

"Don't mention it, asshole." Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. "Now, let's go find Sakura so we can get a plan together." Naruto said, beginning to send out his senses to locate the girl.

He was interrupted by Sasuke's derisive scoff. Naruto turned to the boy, eyebrow raised, making Sasuke explain himself, "I touched the bells with no help from you." He said acerbically, "I don't need any help. I'll get it on my own. You two will just slow me down."

Naruto snorted, "First the breakfast and now this? I thought I was the idiot." Naruto shot back, making Sasuke glare at him, "The bells are just a distraction you moron. You're a clan kiddie. You should know that. Konoha values teamwork and friendship very highly. The only ninja in the village that are allowed to operate completely solo are the ninja rated 'A+' to 'S'. Even regular 'A' class ninja need at least a single partner. Hell, even the Sannin rolled as a three-man team for the majority of their careers. This isn't about getting the bells at all. It's about working together and putting aside our differences. Now stop wasting time and let's get Sakura."

Sasuke looked like he was trying to burn a hole through Naruto with his death glare. But before he could lay into Naruto, Sakura burst from the bushes, "Sasuke-kun! Naruto! I found you!"

Naruto grinned, "Perfect. I was just about to grab the asshole and drag him over to find you. You hear what I said?" Sakura nodded hesitantly. She would normally have called him out on his term for her Sasuke-kun, but she was slightly afraid of his strength, "Good. Now let's get a plan going. You any good at Genjutsu?"

Sakura shook her head, "I have the chakra control for it – or so the instructors said – but none of them got around to actually teaching me any."

Naruto frowned, "Shit." He cursed. "Alright. Sakura – no offense – but you don't have anything to offer in straight combat that Sasuke and I can't do better currently." Sakura winced, and really wanted to rebuke him, but his earlier display had really shaken her confidence. Naruto poked her forehead, getting a glare out of her, "So here's what I want you to do; stay out of the way and take potshots with kunai when you get any openings. Set traps where you can. I'll be able to sense you and try to corral Kakashi towards them. Throw regular **Bunshin** into the mix to try to throw Kakashi off."

He used a strange hand seal neither of the two younger Shinobi had ever seen before; a cross shape with his index and middle fingers laid over each other, " **Kage Bunshin**!" Two identical clones of Naruto appeared, causing Sakura's jaw to drop and Sasuke's eyes to widen, "These are solid clones – and yeah, they're the reason I was finally able to pass the final exam. No, I can't teach you. It's forbidden. Moving on." He said, a note of finality in his tone, "When you send your **Bunshin** in, send them in as well. They'll also be setting traps up." Both clones cried, " **Henge**!" and turned into Sakura.

Sakura smiled, "You're not as dumb as the academy made you out to be. This is actually a fairly decent plan so far." She said, almost shyly.

Naruto laughed, "You'd be dead last as well if you showed up for a few classes a month. Like hell I'm going to sit through the same boring lectures I had to sit the year before…and the year before that."

Sasuke sneered, "Maybe that's why you failed two years in a row." He shot snidely. He was honestly just being difficult due to having his – to him – rightful command usurped.

Naruto's eye twitched, "Sasuke, how much chakra do you have left?" He ignored the snipe.

"Just over half." Sasuke replied, "And why should we listen to you, dead last? Why am I not the leader?"

Sakura was really torn. On one hand, she loved Sasuke-kun. On the other, Naruto had come up with a legitimately good role for her and even aided them in coming up with part of a plan.

Naruto eyed him, utterly unimpressed, "I know where you live." He said finally, a sly smirk forming on his laps. A shiver ran down Sasuke's spine. "So if you don't stop being a jackass, tomorrow you're going to wake up naked in the town square, covered in lube. Not only that, but I'll put signs pointing to the square saying ' _Naked Sasuke This Way!_ ' in front of the houses of _all_ of your fangirls for them to find you." Sasuke's face paled drastically. In fact, it appeared as if all the blood in his face had drained into Sakura's face, since she had turned scarlet as he had turned to the color of milk.

"Le-let's not be too hasty now." He would forever deny his voice breaking at the threat. He shook himself, "We're wasting time. We'll settle this later." He finally growled out as a promise.

Naruto smirked back, "Now you're talking my language." He grinned, "Now, try not to use any jutsu that are too chakra intensive. Both of us will be trying to herd Kakashi towards Sakura and the traps. While the bells aren't important, they'll likely earn us some brownie points. If any of us can grab them without putting any of the others in danger, take the chance. Just make sure we're clear, otherwise I have a feeling Kakashi will fail us even if we get them."

"Alright, dead-last. We'll try it your way." Sasuke couldn't help but be an asshole, even if it was an okay plan.

Naruto smirked, "Alright," he grinned. "Now I can go wild! Let's go!" He yelled and shocked the two with his next act. He turned into an absolutely _massive_ tiger. Its shoulders were at least a head taller than Sasuke and it looked utterly _ferocious_! Sakura could be excused if her knees shook, and even Sasuke had paled. The tiger turned and ran, putting hundreds of meters between it and its two teammates in a blink. It was _fast_.

Sakura swallowed, "I think I will just never piss him off." Sasuke didn't reply, taking off after the blonde. Sakura shook herself and moved, the two solid clones of her following, smirks on their own faces as well.

 **-]|[-**

Kakashi was standing in the middle of the clearing giggling at his book. Or atleast that was his outward appearance. He was _slightly_ more interested in the fact that he could sense that all three of his students were together. And they had been together for a fair amount of time too. Surely _this_ of all teams hadn't figured out his exam?

Suddenly, his eyes widened as he felt Naruto pull away from the other two and beeline straight for him far faster than he had any right to. He had just barely managed to put his book away when he saw a _giant fucking tiger_ burst from the woods and close the distance. He didn't even have time to gasp in surprise before he was dodging a paw bigger than his entire head with gleaming, deadly claws aiming to take said head right off his neck. He rolled under the attack and they both slid, turning immediately. Naruto's momentum had him digging claw trenches into the dirt as he slid to a halt, before he sprang forward again.

Kakashi jumped into the air to put some distance between them and was immediately set upon by Sasuke, who had caught up as quickly as he could and engaged Kakashi in in a midair shuriken duel. Shuriken flashed and screeched as they impacted on another, the metal-on-metal contact throwing sparks up as they fell uselessly to the floor. Gravity proved that it was still alive and kicking as they slowly fell to the ground. As soon as Kakashi's feet touched the ground, he was forced to jump towards Naruto as a chain speared out of the ground, tip poised to pierce his left lung. He landed close, Naruto immediately trying to follow up with a right cross. Kakashi ducked under it and then vanished in a blur of speed as the chain caught up with him. The chain speared right into Naruto's abdomen, but, rather than puncturing, it simply fused back into his body, growing shorter as more chain links vanished.

Kakashi reappeared and engaged Sasuke once more in a Taijutsu duel, this time putting himself at a slightly higher pace to see how his student would react. Sasuke grit his teeth as he struggled to keep up with the faster Kakashi and – as soon as he had some breathing room – took out a kunai reverse-grip in his left hand. He swiped at Kakashi, even as some sweat dripped from his nose. Kakashi dodged and grabbed his arm, throwing him away.

Naruto engaged him before Sasuke's arm had even fully left his hand with yet another telegraphed punch. Kakashi almost rolled his eyes, wanting to chide his student for being so predictable. The words froze on his tongue at the nasty grin on Naruto's lips. His hand opened and a red powder exploded forward in a cloud. Kakashi wrenched his eye shut, too close to dodge, and was immensely grateful for his amazing mask. ' _Chili powder! This little bastard!_ ' He kicked Naruto away rather harshly in retaliation, and a quick application of chakra from the Tenketsu on his face blew the powder away.

The two boys had been attempting to herd him towards the forest the whole time, and he had allowed them to do so. He was rather curious about what they had come up with. When Sasuke threw a shuriken, he jumped back rather than just casually moving his head slightly to the left. When he landed – now within the tree-line – he purposefully tripped a wire. His eyes actually widened as half a dozen paint cans swung from the tree limps looking to shower him in a rainbow of sticky paint. They were even arranged in such a way that his only option was to jump backwards.

When he landed, he immediately heard a click and a bang. He glanced left and right as _cannons_ fired some whitish, slimy looking fluid towards his location from both sides. He leapt up, turning upside down and sticking to the tree limp. "Is that _birthing lube_?" He was actually forced to speak up in sheer incredulity, suddenly recognizing the fluid from his own Genin days. He swore he heard all three Genin snort in laughter. The next trap was of the less comedic variety as dual tree stumps swung on ropes. Kakashi leapt away as the large wooden instruments of death pulverized the branch he'd been on into fine dust.

Then – much to Kakashi's surprise – he was set upon by Sakura. He wasn't very worried about regular **Bunshin** , so he allowed their attacks through. One of the Sakura jumped through him and he paid it no mind. ' _That one even had a shadow._ ' He thought to himself, slightly impressed. Then, his eyes widened as he caught a grin on Naruto just out of the corner of his eye.

That made him realize with some shock that the next Sakura was very much solid and she had a very un-Sakura-like evil grin on her face. He back-flipped rapidly as the ground where _his_ fist hit exploded, dirt racing to catch up to his flying form. He was now out of the trees and back onto the clearing, finding that he did not – in fact – want to play with any more traps.

Even before he landed, he was once more facing a shower of shuriken from Sasuke, and more clones of Sakura were congregating at his landing location. Forming a clone of his own beside him, the clone grabbed his arm and flung him left to the river.

Naruto grinned at his path and transformed into the tiger again. He raced forward and jumped into the drink. Kakashi landed on the water and stood on it, warily watching for the tiger to emerge. Only what burst from the water was not a tiger, but a _hippo_.

This time, Kakashi couldn't help his girlish squeal, though he would forever deny it. He _hated_ hippos. Their mouths were WAY too big. Ever since he'd nearly been swallowed by one in his youth during a fairly routine mission he'd developed a fairly rational hatred for them. So he could be excused for creating a **Rai Bunshin** and pushing it into the beast's gaping maw. The hippo crunched down on the Kakashi clone, killing it instantly and releasing an insane burst of electricity. Sasuke and Sakura were forced to shield their eyes from the bright light show and were quickly taken out by Kakashi.

Naruto groaned as he climbed out of the river and rolled onto his back. He looked kind of crispy and breathed out a puff of smoke. "Ow." He was about to struggle to his feet when the alarm rang.

Kakashi breathed a sigh. He gathered the two unconscious Genin at his feet and called Naruto over. The blonde limped over at first, but had started to walk normally by the time he reached the stump Kakashi had set the alarm and lunches on.

Kakashi waited a few moments for Sasuke and Sakura to wake up, "Welcome back, sleeping beauties!" He said cheerfully.

Sasuke groaned as he sat up and Sakura looked incredibly down, "We didn't get a bell." She said sadly. Sasuke grit his teeth,

Naruto rolled his eyes. He'd already told them that the bells weren't important.

Kakashi chuckled and got up, walking over to a large stone sticking out of the ground, "Do you know what this stone is?"

Two of the three Genin-to-be shook their heads, "No sensei, what is it?" Sakura asked.

Kakashi sighed, looking melancholically at the stone, "This…is a memorial. A memorial to the village's greatest heroes!" He exclaimed. "My best friend's name is on this stone. My own sensei's name is on this stone. My last teammate's name is on this stone….My mother's name is on this stone." He said. He turned his suddenly steely gaze to his students, "Every single name on this stone marks a sacrifice, for they died for their country in the line of duty." That brought the mood down like a rock dropped in a river.

Naruto stood up and walked over to Kakashi. Kakashi's eyes widened as he saw Naruto caress two names in particular. "Yeah, I've got a few on here as well." He gently traced the name _Uzumaki Kushina_. "But they aren't gone. They entrusted Konoha to us, right?" He said, smiling slightly as he took his seat on the stump once more.

Kakashi smiled gently. "Indeed." He stared at his three students, "Remember this, those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are _worse_ than trash." He said strongly, "You three may not have gotten the bells, but you worked together as a team. You were able to put aside your differences even after I tried to turn you against one another." He chuckled, "Seven years I've been testing teams. Seven years I've sent them back to the academy – retaking my place in the ANBU for the year - because not a single team ever cared for more than themselves. Not like you three. You were able to set aside your personal interests and resolved to work together to complete a task that would have otherwise been impossible to complete on your own. Even when I gave second and third chances, my previous teams were always more concerned with themselves than their unit. Everyone else continued blindly fighting until the final bell without even sparing a second thought to their teammates" He grinned, "You are rough, but I can work with rough. It would be boring otherwise. Team Seven passes."

"YES!" Sakura cheered, jumping up and pumping her fist. Sasuke merely smirked and crossed his arms. ' _What do you know? The dead last was right._ ' He thought to himself.

"Now." Kakashi clapped his hands, "I would like an explanation, Naruto-kun. Your file said that you were the worst student the Academy had seen in years. Please, give me something. I refuse to believe the Academy is _actually_ that stupid." Sasuke and Sakura leaned in eagerly, wanting to know why the dead-last was so much more skilled than he appeared.

Naruto shrugged with a smirk, "Don't look at me. Not my fault the academy is useless. They're so focused on churning out ninja that they apparently forgot that we're individuals instead of dough they can take a cookie cutter to." He laughed, "My Taijutsu is garbage. The Academy style is designed to be balanced in all regards, and more defensive than offensive. It doesn't match me in any way. Too stiff and predictable. So they failed me on that. They never even gave me a chance to show off my strength. They don't test for that. My written scores and attendance are garbage, because I couldn't be bothered to show up to listen to the same boring lectures a third time. Then they go and make the **Bunshin** the most heavily weighed portion of the final exam, despite it being the easiest of the three techniques to learn. What does it matter if my **Henge** is beyond perfect? I can't use regular **Bunshin** because it literally requires a smaller amount of chakra than I can separate. Put it all together and you have a dead last." He finished, smirking at Sasuke while he did so.

Sasuke looked furious and slightly worried that maybe he _wasn't_ the top dog from their class. However, if he looked mad then it was nothing compared to Kakashi. Kakashi was quite literally steaming mad. Sakura inched away from him carefully. He took a calming breath, "With how utterly wrong your file is, my first act as your sensei will be to evaluate the three of you. I can't trust any of your files so I will see for myself where you stand. Finish eating so we can begin." He ordered. Sasuke perked up, though Sakura wilted a bit. They ate rapidly and Kakashi called Sakura up first.

Sakura was placed third in the academy overall for the girls. She was very intelligent, according to the instructors and had precise control over her chakra. Kakashi decided to start with that, "Alright Sakura-chan, please flare your chakra as much as you can. Keep it internalized so you don't waste any of it." The girl nodded nervously and started doing as her sensei instructed. Kakashi stared at her, feeling her chakra levels closely. He was not happy. "I can see why your instructors said you had perfect chakra control." Sakura smiled, "Now, hit me as hard as you can. After that hit, we will have a spar. Do your best."

Sakura gulped, but nodded, settling into a textbook academy Taijutsu stance. She let out a battle cry and burrowed her fist as hard as she could into her sensei's midsection. He was surprised at how much force she managed to put into it. It was far more than he expected. Even still, he barely even grunted. Immediately, he engaged her at Genin speed with standard Taijutsu. He then downgraded and kept himself to her level after seeing that she could not keep up with standard Genin speed and technique. To his growing disappointment, within five minutes she was gasping for breath despite not having taken a single hit.

He stopped the spar and gave her a moment to rest, "Now, all three of the basic academy techniques, and then flare your chakra once more for me." Sakura nodded happily and used all three techniques in quick succession, and then flared her chakra some more. It had dropped noticeably and considerably. He smiled kindly at her, "Anything else you have to show me? Some jutsu you learned on your own perhaps?"

Sakura shook her head, "No, I'm done sensei." She smiled hesitantly at him.

Kakashi nodded. Inwardly, he was already plotting out the best locations at the academy to soak in oil for a nice fire. He turned to the dark-haired one of the group, "Sasuke, you're up. Same as Sakura." Sasuke's chakra reserves were good for a fresh Genin, but his control of it was not. He forced tiny wisps of light blue chakra out while flaring, that all three of the others could see. They were faint, but there. All in all, his chakra strength and control were at a decent starting point. He had roughly ten times the amount Sakura had.

Then came the Taijutsu portion. Unlike Sakura, Sasuke did not use the standard academy Taijutsu. Instead, he used the classic Uchiha style, which was far more acrobatic and intensive. Though he lacked his Sharingan, he was already fairly predictive, and he was way faster and stronger than a fresh Genin who did not focus solely on Taijutsu had any right to be. Kakashi matched him at high Genin level and worked him for about half an hour until he finally collapsed for a breather. However, he started getting rather sloppy roughly twenty minutes in, even if he lasted the full half hour.

Kakashi gave him a minute to breathe and compose himself, "Very nicely done, Sasuke. Now, the academy three and any extra techniques you wish to show off."

Sasuke smirked, and turned to the posts nearby. Racing through a set of hand seals, he ended with Tiger and called out, " **Katon: Hosenka no jutsu**!" He spat out eleven smallish fireballs. They impacted the post harshly and exploded, breaking the bark slightly. Some however, were hiding shuriken, which dug sharply into the wood. "You also saw the **Gokakyu**." He finished smugly.

Kakashi smiled indulgently, "Good, now flare your chakra again for me, and you're finished." Sasuke did so, and noticed that his chakra pool had dipped about a third. He was pretty wasteful with such a low rank technique. Sasuke smirked at Naruto and took his seat.

Naruto rolled his eyes and walked up nonchalantly, "Sure you want me to do the chakra flare scarecrow? We don't need to frighten the kiddies." He shot directly at Sasuke, even if he wasn't looking at him. The Uchiha growled lowly, and even Sakura gave him a mild glare.

Kakashi chuckled lightly, "Yes, you need to do the chakra flare. I need to see how much you have to work with."

Naruto shrugged his shoulders, "Don't say I didn't warn you." WHAM. All three of the other members of team seven felt as if they had taken a direct hit to the sternum. Sakura flung herself into the post she was sitting against and tried to push deeper into it, kicking her legs ineffectually at the ground. She gasped, trying to get some air. Sasuke wasn't much better off. He had broken into a flop sweat immediately, and trembled slightly.

Only Kakashi was unruffled outwardly as he watched Naruto's chakra literally flare golden in the wind. It looked like golden fire surrounded the boy, pulsing wildly. Inwardly was a different matter, ' _He has ten times as much chakra as I do!_ ' Frankly, that pissed him off a bit. Everyone knew his chakra pool was his biggest weakness. He caught a smug grin on Naruto's face as they stared at each other, as if he was saying ' _Yeah, I have more chakra then you. What you going to do about it?_ '

Naruto cut off the flow. Sakura gasped for air and began coughing, and Sasuke stopped trembling. However, both were looking at their third teammate in shock.

Kakashi coughed lightly, "Well, that certainly was a…display."

Sakura sputtered, "That's all you have to say! I felt like I was going to die, and he wasn't even directing it at me!"

Kakashi shrugged, "You get used to it. Being able to shrug off feelings like that is a vital part of being a high level ninja. You cannot allow yourself to become intimidated. Or at least not outwardly intimidated." He turned towards the smug looking Naruto, "Kid, you have a lot of chakra. No wonder you can't make **Bunshin**. Now, Taijutsu! Defend yourself!"

With that, Kakashi took off and actually engaged one his students for the first time. It immediately became very clear to Kakashi that Naruto hadn't been making things up. His Taijutsu was _awful_. His defenses were full of holes and he overextended very often. However, on the flip side his lack of Taijutsu prowess proved to be a boon for Kakashi, because he was able to actually see how tough the older boy was. Kakashi nailed him harshly many times, trying to see if he could put Naruto down. He even nailed him at half of his full strength a number of times, and Naruto just shrugged the harsh blows – which would have broken Sakura in half – off like they were flies. He was incredibly resilient.

So Kakashi switched tactics and tried to go for grappling. He very rapidly discovered that he had made a mistake, because he finally found something Naruto was _good_ at Taijutsu-wise. His attempted hip toss was stopped cold as Naruto utilized his superior strength to reverse the hold and almost nailed Kakashi with a Suplex. Kakashi rapidly used **Kawarimi** to escape. He may as well have tried to wrestle a bear.

Naruto laughed, "We may as well wrap this up if you've seen that yes, my Taijutsu is as bad as the Academy said. If you're testing my endurance like you did for the other two we'll be here all week." Sasuke could probably have powdered some nails with the amount of grinding he was doing with his teeth.

Kakashi forced a chuckle, "Yeah, I've seen enough. Any other secrets you want to share with the class?"

"I've been trying to teach myself how to do Fuinjutsu, but other than that you've seen everything." Naruto replied.

Kakashi was intrigued. "Fuinjutsu huh? That's a very rare art. I'm one of the only ones in Konoha capable of it currently. Show me."

Naruto dropped to his knees and had a small, portable sealing station out immediately. It was ramshackle and probably had been self-built, but it would do the job, Kakashi mused idly. Within about fifteen seconds, Naruto had a fairly large seal done out and presented it to Kakashi.

The man's lone eye widened slightly, "This is fairly good. Not perfect by any means, but you could definitely sell it. I'd say it's about a grade three in quality." The seal in question was a powerful Raiton trap. Anyone who stepped into that zone would get the shock of a lifetime. Literally.

Kakashi smiled, "It's late and I have to report to the Hokage. Be here at six tomorrow morning. Sakura." Sakura stiffened as her sensei spoke to her, and it wasn't in the kind tone he'd used since the end of the earlier test. He sounded much colder and very stern, "If you're on a diet, it is now over." She opened her mouth indignantly to refute him, and got slammed with a much lighter version of the feeling Naruto had exposed them to, only it was directed straight at her. She gasped, "You're twelve. You have no curves-" Sakura wanted to cry, "-and you never will if you keep up your eating habits. You're a Kunoichi. You _should_ be active enough to never gain a pound in fat. You should have energy to burn, not the other way around. If I catch you starving yourself or not eating as much as you should _you will regret it_." Sakura's face was a blur as she nodded as rapidly as she could, some tears flinging themselves off her face. The feeling vanished, and the man gave them a weird eye-smile, "Well, I'll see you all tomorrow. Ja ne!"

 **-]|[-**

"Oh shit…Kakashi-sempai looks pissed." One of the Jonin mumbled to his friend. All of the teams that had graduated from the academy had now been tested, and it was time for the final portion of the ceremony; gossiping about their teams.

Mitarashi Anko giggled, "Yeah he does. Hey scarecrow, what crawled up your ass and died? Did one of your brats betray his other team mates like that one idiot three years ago?"

"No." Kakashi said as blandly as he could, "Quite the opposite actually. Team Seven passed handily."

The entire room – sans the Hokage himself – froze in shock. Quite a few turned to look out the window to see if the sky was falling or the Kyuubi was rampaging. Anko was blinking at him stupidly, as if he said pink was the new national color and all uniforms were to be replaced immediately. "…What?" She asked flatly.

"Team Seven passed." Kakashi repeated dully, just barely able to keep his teeth from grinding.

Anko looked around helplessly at her best friend Yuuhi Kurenai, who shrugged her shoulders. Anko turned back to Kakashi with a raised eyebrow, "Well, what's the problem then? Surely your brats aren't that bad?"

Kakashi addressed her, but was looking at the Hokage, "The problem, Anko-chan, is that I'm having to restrain myself from going over to the Academy and razing the _fucking_ thing to the ground."

The room once again froze at hearing the normally, mild-mannered, jolly pervert swear so blatantly. The Hokage sighed resignedly, "And what has you so angry, Kakashi-kun?"

"Where do I start?" Kakashi mock-mused as he crossed his arms behind his back, "I suppose I'll start with Haruno Sakura-chan. Her file stated that she was a bona fide genius, with excellent memory and intelligence. It went on to state that her Taijutsu was good and that her chakra control was impeccable." His eye glinted, "And indeed, her chakra control _was_ perfect. But not for good reason. She has some of the smallest reserves I've ever seen on a fresh Genin. They are – in a word – pitiful. I've seen better reserves on some ten year olds. Not only that, but like most idiot girls her age she's on a _diet_." He said mockingly. Kurenai and Anko – the highest-ranking Kunoichi in the room – stiffened. "Not a regular diet either, but a _starvation_ diet. The _genius_ had the brilliant idea to not only follow my order to not eat breakfast, but _also_ skip dinner the night before."

Anko growled, "You're making me want to march to the Academy right along with you." She growled in disgust. Kurenai looked equally furious.

"Just so." Kakashi nodded, "As a result, her conditioning is pitiful for a Genin. She knows her forms and steps, and can put a surprising amount of force into her punches, but her endurance is awful. I engaged her in a spar at Genin speed with the Academy Taijutsu. Not only was I forced to drastically lower myself afterwards to match her, but she lasted five minutes. _Five_."

Half the room looked as if they wanted to strangle the girl, and Hiruzen was rubbing his face with one hand. "I have been lax, it seems." He ground out angrily, "I may have had a lot on my plate since Minato's death, but this situation has degraded a lot more than expected. I shall take the blame for this." The Hokage declared, "And I am ordering an immediate audit of the academy and its teachers, as well as its entire staff. This situation cannot be allowed to continue. I shall give up my paychecks in order to make sure the Academy returns to its previous standards, if money is the issue." The rest of the Jonin nodded in satisfaction. He addressed Kakashi directly, "I take it that is not the only issue?"

"No Hokage-sama." Kakashi said respectfully, "Sakura's biggest issue has been solved, or it will be soon. I will not allow her to continue starving herself, and I have already made it very clear that there will be consequences if I catch her doing it again. Anko-shaped consequences, now that I think about it."

Anko grinned viciously, "I'll even do it for free."

"But Sakura was not the only problem child." Kakashi stated, "Uchiha Sasuke-kun was claimed – in his file – to be the next coming of Uchiha Itachi." The rest of the room burst into laughter. Anko and Kurenai were hanging off each other while laughing, and Asuma – the Hokage's son – had his hands on his knees as he doubled over.

"Does-does he even have the Sharingan?" Anko asked in between breathless chuckles.

"Nope." That set off the room once more.

Hiruzen had an indulgent smirk gracing his lips, "Indeed? Hoh, isn't that interesting."

Kakashi smirked, "The boy is good. No doubt about that. In fact, his Taijutsu is already borderline chunin. However, he did not showcase any Genjutsu and the Ninjutsu he showed off cost quite a bit of his total chakra. He is wasteful since his control is not perfect. He has roughly ten times as much chakra as Sakura, but his endurance is decent. High-Genin at least." He sighed despairingly, "But he has let his Academy success go to his head. He's the most arrogant brat I've ever been assigned. I let him touch one of the bells and he honestly thought he did that off his own merit instead of realizing that I had just thrown him a bone."

Hiruzen shook his head, "He is at least passable. I am tasking you with breaking that attitude, Kakashi."

"I won't need to." Kakashi replied blandly, "I haven't even gotten to the worst part yet." Kakashi took a file out of his pouch, which Hiruzen recognized with a groan as being Naruto's. "The last member of my team is Uzumaki Naruto. You might know him as the Academy's Dead-Last for three years in a row, the Damn-Brat-Who-Is-Impossible-To-Catch, or even perhaps He-Who-Paints-The-Hokage-Mountain-In-Broad-Daylight-In-Kill-Me-Orange. "

The assembled Jonin grumbled and chuckled good-naturedly, and Hiruzen had an actual smile on his face.

Kakashi did not, as he snapped open Naruto's Academy File. "Naruto's file reads, and I quote, 'Uzumaki Naruto is the worst example of a Shinobi I have ever seen pass through these halls. His Taijutsu is terrible. His grades are awful. He can't even perform the simple **Bunshin**. He is worthless as a ninja and will never amount to anything.'" He snapped the booklet shut cheerfully, let the worse sink in for a moment, and then the entire file burst into flames in his hand.

The burning file dropped to the floor where it was consumed rapidly into ashes which Kakashi stomped on and ground with his boot, "If Naruto got a single hand on Sasuke he would _break_ him." He said harshly. "Naruto displayed the ability to use Kushina-sama's chakra chains. He displayed skill in Fuinjutsu. He turned a two-foot wide log into sawdust and wood chips with a knee, and had enough monstrous strength to stomp a ten foot wide and five foot deep crater into the ground. Not only that, but he stomped said crater into the ground because I was using **Doton: Dochu Eigyo no Jutsu** and he sensed exactly where I was."

The room listened in growing disbelief as Kakashi worked himself up with his rant, "His Taijutsu was as terrible as advertised, because the Academy Taijutsu was so unsuited to his personality and his strengths that it may as well have been taught to an ant. He is incredibly resilient, and did not even grunt when I nailed him with a half-strength uppercut right to the gut. He has _ten times_ as much chakra as I do. His **Henge** is so advanced that he can turn into animals with fully formed chakra systems from what I could sense. He was perfectly capable of using **Kage Bunshin no Jutsu** , having learned it in _two hours_. Said technique was used to almost break my jaw when he used **Henge** to turn two of them into Sakura-chan while she mixed in regular Bunshin to throw me off. And do you know why this ninja will never amount to anything? Because he can't use the _**Bunshin no jutsu**_."

The room was stunned into silence. Really, what could you possibly say to that?

 **-]|[-**

The Hokage's office was darker now. The sun had been dropping in the sky, and its now-red light was casting a more somber glow throughout the room. The room had emptied, leaving only the three Jonin whose teams passed and the Hokage himself inside.

Kakashi was standing almost shoulder to shoulder with Yuuhi Kurenai and Sarutobi Asuma, staring at their leader's back. Hiruzen himself was staring out the window, contemplating the events that had occurred minutes ago. He finally sighed, "I apologize for putting so much pressure on your shoulders." He turned, hands clasped behind him, "Konoha cannot allow itself to be seen as weak." He declared, "I am ordering you to step up your schedules for training your students. Team Gai is the only Konoha team from the previous year still in circulation. The rest of the Genin teams do not show signs that they have any budding legends in them either." He grimaced, "I want all of your teams to be prepared for the next Chunin exams." He declared, "Otherwise I fear there will be sharks in the water soon, smelling blood. I want your students not only prepared for the exams, but I want to see records broken."

Kakashi smirked sardonically, "I guess this means I'll actually have to be on time for training." He drawled.

Hiruzen turned and gave him the gimlet eye, "You better be."

Kakashi sighed, "I am curious though, Hokage-sama. I remember years ago you were fairly close to Naruto. You had to have known that his failure at the Academy was due to a technique he could not have been reasonably expected to perform. You were alive and friends with many Uzumaki prior to Uzu's destruction. Why did Naruto-kun slip through the cracks for three years?"

Hiruzen gave off a long suffering sigh, "Unfortunately, it has been some time since Naruto-kun and I were really close." He stared out the window, smiling melancholically, "When the Uchiha Massacre and the Hyuuga Incidents happened, I became incredibly busy. I could not spare Naruto the time the same way I could before both events. They were years apart, but both caused us to drift apart."

"I see." Kakashi said carefully.

"Before I knew it, I was seeing him less and less." Hiruzen sighed, "Even after my workload lightened, things did not go back to normal. Before Mizuki's betrayal, I truthfully hadn't seen him for a long while." The thought hurt. He had been quite fond of the little bundle of joy. With a sigh, he hardened his heart. "Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma…I want all three of your teams to be at least participating in the Chunin Exams within the year. It has been a long time since Konoha sent out a message to the other countries. It is time we break that silence. Here is my decree. Your three teams will not do any more than the required twenty D-Rank missions. You train and do the D-ranks as you wish, and when they finish, I want your teams doing C-Rank minimum missions. If necessary, I want your teams doing joint training and perhaps even larger-scale, joint missions. Now go. I have a lot to consider."

The three ninja nodded, and were gone as quickly as they came, leaving the old Hokage to his thoughts.

 **-]|[-**

"Good morning everyone!" Kakashi exclaimed cheerfully as he puffed into existence near his three students. He was met with grumbles from two of the three. Sakura even looked like she was going to nod off, and had bags under her eyes. A strange cross-like vein popped up on his forehead and he took out a kunai, "What was that? Did you say, 'Good Morning Kakashi-sensei. We're really excited to be training. Please chase us around with kunai until we drop from exhaustion.' Alright, can do."

Sakura screeched as the kunai came dangerously close to cutting her hair, and ran off. Sasuke wasn't far behind as another kunai came dangerously close to his precious. Naruto merely yawned and waved Kakashi off, "I have my own conditioning to do. You have fun with the kiddies."

Kakashi shrugged, knowing that Naruto would not be skimping on his training if yesterday was any indication. As he ran off after the other two, he perked up as he heard a small hissing as if something was being unsealed. "Oh well, I'll see whatever it was when we get back."

Naruto merely grinned as he stretched out a bit in front of the massive log that was laying on its side in front of him. It was wider than he was tall, and weighed many tons. Naruto hefted the giant trunk with a heavy grunt, and his chakra chains burst from his back and wrapped it up, securing it to his back. He dropped to his hands with another grunt, and began doing pushups, "One!" He called out to the empty clearing.

Ten minutes later, he stopped at around two-hundred and thirty-seven as he heard an odd, distant cry of, "Youth!" Shrugging it off as unimportant, he continued his count.

 **-]|[-**

Sakura collapsed to the dirt, uncaring about her dress. It was practically ruined anyway already. It was full of small tears and cuts from where Kakashi had decided to be a bit mean with his throwing, and she was drenched in sweat. She huffed heavily, trying to catch her breath. Their crazy sensei had made her and Sasuke run three laps around _Konoha_! Three laps around the entire giant, walled city! At a decent speed too! She had never been so tired in her life, and it was only seven-thirty! Sasuke-kun was sitting next to her, puffing but not as visibly exhausted. She moaned, "And where the hell was Naruto? Why wasn't he running with us?"

Kakashi chuckled, "I'm not worried about Naruto's physical conditioning. I'm perfectly fine with letting him do his own thing in that regard." He eyed her with a grin, "You should be glad I'm the one in charge of your physical conditioning. For now that is. If I left Naruto to it you would probably want to kill me."

"And why is that?" Sasuke challenged. Kakashi pointed somewhere behind them.

Sakura and Sasuke turned as much as they could – barely in Sakura's case – but both of them gasped in shock. "Wh-what the hell!" Sakura screeched loudly. Naruto had finished with his pushups, and had continued on through a whole routine of exercises. Currently, he was doing a handstand with the log at his feet, doing vertical pushups. He was also doing leg presses at the same time. Kakashi started to laugh at their disbelief, and he called over to Naruto.

"What?" The blonde didn't as much as pause in his workout.

"You have five minutes while Sakura and Sasuke catch a breather. After that we're moving on to other things." Kakashi called over. Naruto scowled at that. He'd have to finish his workout later. With that in mind, he kicked off the log and got to his feet. He walked over to his teammates while casually unsealing a bottle of water.

"So, what did you have the kiddies do?" Naruto asked.

"Three laps around the village while dodging wonderful, sharp, pointy kunai." Kakashi chirped, looking to intentionally irritate the two.

Naruto laughed, "Not bad. What we doing next, scarecrow?"

Kakashi gave Naruto the evil smile this time, and he started to sweat slightly, "Chakra control."

Naruto groaned, "Boring. You trying to bore us to death as well sensei? Iruka also made us do the stupid Leaf Balancing shit. And that all it did for me. Jack shit."

Kakashi laughed lightly, "Boring…I disagree. It is a vital ninja skill." He smiled at Naruto's scowl, "Don't make that face at me. We won't be doing Leaf Balancing. Frankly, you could do that for the rest of your life and not make a single difference. You might as well try to melt an iceberg by blowing on it in your case." He turned to Sakura, "Care to explain chakra to us, just to make sure everyone is on the same page, Sakura-chan?" Sasuke and Naruto rolled their eyes, but Sakura threw herself into her explanation without moving from the comfy (read: hard and uncomfortable) ground.

"Chakra is vital to life and is the combination of the body's Spiritual and Physical energies. Spiritual energy is the energy of our minds. It is derived from our conscious minds and can grow through study, meditation, and our life experiences. Physical energy is the body's energy, and can be increased through training, stimulants, and exercise. When combined together, they become our chakra." She sat up, smiling brightly, if tiredly, "Increasing one or the other will make our chakra grow more powerful as well!"

"What is the point of this?" Sasuke groused, making Sakura's head dip sadly at being basically dismissed by her crush. "We already know how to use chakra."

Kakashi chuckled, "No, you really don't. Your control over your chakra is pitiful. You waste a lot of it in your techniques. The amount of chakra you put into your **Hosenka** yesterday should have produced twenty fireballs at least. But because you were wasteful, all you got was eleven." Sasuke growled and scowled at having his performance decried as wasteful. Before he could say anything else, Kakashi continued, "But if your chakra control is pitiful, there isn't actually a word for how bad Naruto's control is."

Sasuke smirked at the blonde victoriously. "Don't look too happy princess. My control is so bad because I have more chakra in my pinky than you can use in a week." Naruto shot back. Sasuke glared heatedly.

Sakura looked at the two hesitantly, before addressing Naruto, "Ah, Naruto-san… Why exactly do you have so much chakra?"

Naruto waved at her, "No 'san,' Sakura-chan. I don't care for the polite honorifics. Anyway, I'm an Uzumaki. A true Uzumaki. That means that – among other things – I have extremely dense, extremely powerful chakra. And a whole lot of it." He said, "But beyond even my own heritage, there is another factor. If you can figure out what that factor is, great." He shrugged, "I don't particularly care if you figure it out, but I'm not going to come out and say it." That drew Sakura's interest, and she smiled slightly at having a mystery to solve. Her Inner Self muttered, ' _Oooh, mysterious. Momma likes._ '

Kakashi interrupted before Sakura could get another word in, "Excellent. Well done Sakura-chan. Now, we will be learning a new exercise today that will not only help your chakra control, but has many applications in general Shinobi life." He smiled, and all three Genin leaned forward in interest. "We will be… climbing trees!"

All three would have face vaulted if they weren't already either sitting or on the ground. "We already know how to climb trees!" Sakura moaned, thinking off all the physical exercise that was coming.

"Without your hands." Kakashi smirked slyly.

"E-Eh?" The three Genin looked dumbfounded. "Without hands?"

Kakashi smirked, and walked straight up a tree until he was upside-down and staring at his students. Naruto's eyes were glinting and he was rubbing his hands together with a disturbing grin. Sakura had stars in her eyes and even Sasuke looked interested. Kakashi began to sweat slightly as he took in Naruto's expression, ' _Oh boy, I know that grin._ ' He shook himself lightly, "To walk on vertical surfaces or even upside-down, you need to use your chakra to adhere to the surface. You channel your chakra to your feet – an added difficulty as the feet are the hardest areas to channel and control chakra with – and then you run up your tree! Too much chakra and you'll break the tree. Too little and you won't stick." He quirked a weird eye-smile at them, and tossed three kunai forward. "I suggest you get a running start and use these to mark your progress! Well, get to it!"

Sasuke didn't even pause as he picked a tree and attacked it. He made it halfway up before the bark under his feet cracked and he was flung off. He marked his spot with a slice of the bark with his kunai. Sakura smiled brightly at the boy, ' _Cha! Sasuke-kun is so cool!_ '

Naruto didn't bother picking up his kunai as he smirked confidently. He crossed his fingers in that weird seal and called, " **Kage Bunshin no jutsu**!" The clearing was filled with smoke as a hundred doppelgangers of Naruto came into existence.

Sakura quirked an eyebrow, and Sasuke grit his teeth at Naruto's showing off. He called out, "Hey, dead-last, what's with the clones?"

Naruto laughed, happy to get one up on the smug prick, " **Kage Bunshin** are special amongst clone techniques. They have the unique ability to transfer back any information it learned to the original creator when it dies." Sakura gaped, and Sasuke's teeth began grinding. "This includes any chakra based things it learned. Useless for physical stuff though, unless you use them for sparring. So if I have all those clones work on something for an hour, when they dispel it will be as though I worked a hundred hours myself. That, and each clone can have its own unique way of trying things, so if it figures something out it can pop and show it to all the remaining clones, and myself."

Sasuke dropped his kunai and got in Naruto's face, "Teach me!" He demanded, completely forgetting that Naruto wasn't an Academy teacher willing to humor him.

Naruto simply shoved him away, "It's a Kinjutsu, idiot. I can't simply go around teaching people."

Sakura glowered at the mistreatment of her crush, but she'd sworn to herself last night that she would try to improve herself for her. She took a deep breath, and asked politely, "Why can't you teach us, Naruto?"

Naruto turned to her with a smile, "Like I said, it's a Kinjutsu. If I taught you and you used it, you'd probably die even with that perfect chakra control. The princess here would probably manage to create one, and it'd be good for a single fireball before it died, and Sasuke would be the same. It takes more chakra than either of you two have for it to be effective."

"I see, thanks Naruto." Sakura said with a small smile.

Sasuke sighed and spoke up, "I apologize, dead last." It strained his pride to do so, but he realized he was in the wrong.

Naruto waved him off, "No problem bastard. I'm willing to help if you ask, but demand anything and you're getting a foot up the ass."

Kakashi smirked lightly, while Sakura glowered at her two teammates. With that, the two – well, hundred and two – boys ignored each other and picked trees. With loud battle cries, the Naruto's charged and the clearing was filled with the sound of splintering wood.

Sakura picked up her own kunai, looking at the tree in determination, "Oh and Sakura-chan…" Kakashi trailed off as she stiffened and turned to look at him, "I fully expect that you'll make it up the tree within your first few tries." Sakura beamed at his confidence in her, "However, while your control is good, I suspect that your tiny reserves are the cause." Sakura drooped. And she had thought that he was complimenting her too, "Therefore, when you get up that tree, you will come down again. And then go up again. And you will keep doing that until you are exhausted. Then you will rest and do it again. That should increase your chakra reserves as well as keep your control of it high."

Sakura slumped over in depression, "Yes sensei!" She moaned, and went off to practice as well. She made it up the tree in one try.

 **-]|[-**

"Welcome home, Sakura-chan!" Haruno Mebuki called out absently as she heard the door open. She was sitting on the couch, reading through a catalogue. She grew slightly worried when her daughter didn't reply at all, but she heard her footsteps come closer. "Oof!" She huffed in surprise as a weight landed right on her lap. She raised the catalogue to see her daughter's head, face down in her lap. She giggled as her daughter moaned. "Sensei give you a hard time?"

"Mimblewimble." She giggled harder at her daughter's nonsense.

"Well, looks like you're finally getting a real taste of the path you chose for yourself." Mebuki smiled as she began running her finger through her daughter's smooth, silky hair, "I did warn you didn't I?"

Sakura groaned, "I hurt in places that don't exist."

Her father walked in, laughing heartily, "Ah, I remember those days. You'll get used to it, Sakura-chan. So, what did they have you do? A couple dozen laps around the lake at the training grounds? Sparring?"

Sakura shook her head. Or…well…she tried to. It ended up looking more like a wobble than anything. "Three laps around Konoha for me and Sasuke." Her parents blinked, "While Kakashi-sensei threw kunai at us." Her parents blinked harder, and glanced at each other. "Then he had us doing tree walking for two hours. Well, Sasuke-kun tried it for two hours. He didn't actually succeed yet. I collapsed after half an hour, but I can do it perfectly. They're trying to make my reserves go up. Then he made us exercise some more, and spar for a bit. Then we did teamwork trials as well."

"Well." Haruno Kizashi coughed, buying time to figure out something to say, "You've had quite a day haven't you? What about your third teammate?" He asked curiously.

Sakura yawned and mumbled out an answer, "Naruto trained by himself while we were doing our conditioning."

"That's not fair." Mebuki said indignantly, "Why would your sensei make you do harsh training – and I would say it was harsh, at least for a rookie Genin like you – and leave Naruto-san behind?"

Sakura scoffed, "You misunderstood. Naruto did his own training because we would have just held him behind. He would have lapped us five times in the amount of time it took us to finish one lap. When we finished and got back to the training ground he was doing some unholy combination of handstand pushups and leg presses with a log wider than he was tall. He joined us for Tree Walking and was still there, throwing himself at learning it when I left." She blushed, "That sexy bastard is a monster." She was entirely unaware that her last statement had been said out loud.

Mebuki stifled a giggle while Kizashi grinned somewhat, "Well, harsh as it was, I'm glad your sensei is taking your training seriously. I was very happy when you came home yesterday and ate a full helping for the first time in ages. Truthfully, your mother and I were getting worried about you."

"Wh-what do you mean, dad?" Sakura stammered, and groaned in pain as she forced herself to turn around and lay down normally on her mother's lap.

Her parents exchanged a look, before her mother said hesitantly, "Truthfully Sakura-chan, we were planning on pulling you from the program."

Sakura gaped in disbelief. "B-but why! You were both ninja yourselves! Why would you want to pull me from the program?"

Her father answered, and a lot more flatly than she expected from him, "Frankly, you were more interested in looking good for Uchiha-san than you were about being a Kunoichi."

Mebuki smiled weakly, "Sakura-chan, there aren't many more positions that are as bad as being a Kunoichi and unable to protect yourself. The path you were on… Your father and I would have been perfectly happy to have you hate us if it saved you from such a fate."

Sakura was an intelligent girl. It didn't really take much for her to realize what her mother was getting at, "You…you mean?"

Kizashi nodded gravely, "It happened to your aunt. She had been returning from her first C-rank. Her team was ambushed. They fought, but it had just been a distraction. Team 3 made it back to Konoha missing a member." He said ominously, getting a gasp of shock from his daughter. He turned his head, fists clenched impotently, "When she was rescued she… wasn't the same. She was never the same again… My wonderful sister… I would have been damned before I allowed it to happen to you, princess." He said softly.

Mebuki kissed her daughter's forehead, "We decided to give you the opportunity to shape up yourself." She said, "After all, I was a Kunoichi and I'm still on reserve." Her tone turned haughty, "And I'm sexy enough to turn heads even now." Sakura smiled, but she had some tears leaking from her eyes. Mebuki giggled, "None of that now, little one. Just remember that you're a proud Kunoichi of the Leaf. Give it your all. Have your teammates backs and they'll have yours. And remember that you have your father and me. We may be retired, but I'm sure we could still teach you a thing or two." She winked.

Sakura cried, pulling her mother close for a hug. "I won't let you down." She whispered brokenly.

"That's not important." Kizashi said, patting her leg, "What's important is that you don't let yourself down." He said gently. He got up and clapped loudly, getting his two girls to jump, "Now, who's ready for dinner." He smiled at the giggles he got from his daughter.

 **-]|[-**

"Good morning my cute little students!" Kakashi said cheerfully, only fifteen minutes late.

Sakura hurried to respond to her sensei, not wanting to deal with the hell that was yesterday, "Hello sensei!" She chirped as cheerfully as she could. Sasuke merely mumbled his response.

Kakashi clapped, "Well, today is our physical rest day. You'll have less of these as you grow accustomed to the pace I set, but for now you shouldn't expect physical every day."

"What's a rest day?" Naruto asked cluelessly.

"You know…a rest day." Sakura said, slightly worried for her teammate. When he stared at her uncomprehendingly, she elaborated, "You know, a day where you take it slightly easy so you don't overstress your body?" He continued to look unimpressed, "Gives your body time to heal? Keeps total exhaustion away? Anything?"

He stared blankly at the three, before beginning to cackle. Sakura grew irritated as he laughed at her for a perfectly reasonable thing. He wiped a tear away, "Rest day. Pfff. Good one Sakura." He stared at her unimpressed face for a moment, "Wait, you're serious?" She nodded blankly. He stared at her and Sasuke for a moment, "Man, it must really suck to not be an Uzumaki." He resumed laughing.

Kakashi rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah. Unending stamina. We get it. Anyway!" He addressed all three of his students, "Your job is to keep working on chakra control on your own. I want all of you to be ready to start on Water Walking next week. If you are not ready to do so…" He left the threat hanging, "It is on you to make sure you keep working on it. Yes, even you, Sakura-chan. You still need bigger reserves." He got a surprisingly determined nod from the girl. "But again, I'm leaving that to you. Yesterday I gave you three a crash course in what you can expect from now on." He eye-smiled, "Essentially, I wanted to see if any of you would quit. I cannot teach those unwilling to learn."

Naruto snorted, "You thought any of us would quit? We're stronger than that, scarecrow. Give us at least some credit." Sakura flushed. She was rather sure that both were referencing her. Being complimented like that by someone so obviously stronger than her made her feel happy.

Kakashi waved Naruto off, "I was rather certain that none of you would, but I had to do so all the same. Now, today we'll be doing something different." He said as he took a seat with them, "Now, while I will be working you all at least slightly in all aspects of being a Shinobi, it is very, very rare for one person to be skilled in _everything._ We do not have the time to make you all masters in every art, so today we will be determining which of the ninja arts you want to focus in."

Naruto chuckled, "You can forget Genjutsu for me, sensei. Only thing worse is Sasuke's haircut."

Sasuke scoffed, "What's the matter, dead-last? Afraid of a little genjutsu?"

Naruto rolled his eyes, "I can dispel them fine, bastard. Point in fact I've never been caught in one, ever." He said smugly, "I just can't use them myself. I don't do subtle."

Sakura tossed some confetti at him and handed him a badly drawn medal on a sheet of paper saying 'Understatement of the year.'

The three stared at her blankly, "Where the hell did you get the confetti from?" Naruto was rather amused, and was contemplating pinning it to his chest.

She blushed, "I told my mom about you guys and she thought it would be good for a joke. I didn't think I'd get to use it this soon."

Kakashi cleared his throat, eyes crinkled in amusement, "Anyway, I figured as much. It went without saying, Naruto. Jokes aside, we need to get busy. Sakura! You have very good chakra control and your reserves are growing. They're already about a third larger than they were two days ago, so you've been working hard. Keep that up." Sakura beamed, "Despite that, I feel that trying to make you a Ninjutsu mistress would be a waste of time. At least for now. We don't know what the future holds, after all.'

"No, I agree." Sakura said, "I did a lot of thinking and talking with my parents last night, and I truthfully haven't dedicated myself to being a Kunoichi. I thought I was the top Kunoichi and the third place student overall. Watching Naruto – the dead-last – two days ago really shook my confidence." She said miserably, "Well no more!" She cried, "I won't be the one to hold this team down. Cha! With that in mind – I feel like some defensive Ninjutsu would be okay, but that I shouldn't focus on it. My parents urged me to try Iryojutsu and Genjutsu." She finished.

Sasuke threw her a look, which she didn't see. He was slightly impressed with her. Slightly. It also may have explained why she hadn't immediately pestered him for a date today. He really hoped it kept up.

Kakashi smiled happily, "Good to hear you're taking the first steps yourself." He pulled out a largish scroll and threw it to her, "That scroll is an interactive Fuinjutsu seal. There are two sides to it, left for Genjutsu and right for Iryojutsu." Kakashi explained, "You'll see that there are only two techniques – the two top ones – that are available. To unlock the next Jutsu, you have to touch the unlocking seal while channeling your chakra in the manner that you would for the previous technique." He winked, "Just my little method of keeping you from trying things that are too advanced too early."

Sakura smiled and cradled the scroll, "Thank you sensei!"

Kakashi eye-smiled at her, and turned to Sasuke, "Now, Sasuke-kun, you've had more direction than Sakura-chan had previously. Have you thought about what you would like to specialize in, if anything?"

Sasuke smirked in superiority, "With the Sharingan, I'll be able to specialize in anything I want." He said haughtily, smirking at knowing that he would eventually leave Naruto in the dust.

"And where is this fabled Sharingan?" Naruto snorted. Sasuke growled at him, "Man, an Uchiha at your age without a Sharingan? Guess that makes you…well nobody really." Sasuke growled and sprang forward, looking to teach the dead-last a lesson.

Kakashi nonchalantly caught him by his collar and flung him back to his seat on the grass. "While he was a needlessly confrontational about it, Naruto is right." He eyed Sasuke in disappointment, "You do _not_ have a Sharingan, Sasuke. So until you unleash it, stop acting as if you already have it." Sasuke crossed his arms and looked away.

Naruto decided to throw some salt in the wound, "Even when you get your little pink eye, don't expect to beat me." He grinned at Sasuke's angry, affronted gaze, "Your bloodline is just a tool, same as everything else. If you rely on it for everything, you'll get nowhere quick."

Kakashi nodded, and turned to Sasuke, "Well said. Sasuke, you were bound to find out about this eventually, so I suppose I can show you this now." He raised his hand to his headband and moved it out of the way. Sasuke gave off a strangled sound as he gazed upon his sensei's one Sharingan eye. Naruto whistled at the scar running through that area. Kakashi covered it up quickly, "Even with that eye, I am not unbeatable. Neither will you be unbeatable should you begin using them. Your clan had plenty of high level ninja, yet not one of them ever became Hokage. Do not let those eyes go to your head."

"How did you get that eye?" Sasuke choked out.

Kakashi looked indifferent, "That…is a story for another day. Do not press me on this." Clearly, it was a touchy subject with him.

Sasuke snarled and turned away. Sakura stared at him strangely, seeing a new side to her long time crush that she wasn't sure she liked.

"Now, I'll ask you again, Uchiha Sasuke-kun. Have you given a thought to what you would like to work on during your first few months as a Genin?" Kakashi repeated.

Sasuke huffed, "Ninjutsu and Taijutsu." He looked away, brooding.

Kakashi nodded, and was about to speak up when Naruto cut him off, "Should probably get the princess to try some sword-play as well." All three other heads snapped to him.

"Oh, and why do you say that?" Kakashi asked in interest.

"I watched his fight with you." Naruto said, "Bastard's real quick, I'll give him that. He's also pretty precise. If he can extend his range a bit it won't hurt him. Plus, he's an Uchiha. He should have enough money lying around to afford a real good blade, and he might even be able to run some Ninjutsu through it."

Sasuke was looking intrigued, and smiled a bit, "Not a bad idea, dead-last."

Naruto grinned and tipped his head at him, "No problem princess!" That put the scowl firmly back on his face.

Sakura groaned, "Do you have to antagonize him, Naruto?"

Naruto scoffed, "Of course I do. Why should I let things get boring? Shinobi are way too serious about everything, even when not necessary." He grinned, "I should do a prank day sometime soon."

Kakashi felt a shiver run straight down his spine, and hastily interjected, "Now, let's not get too crazy Naruto." Naruto turned and stared at him blankly causing him to sweat a bit.

Slowly, a smirk grew on his face, "Actually, I think it's a great idea." He eyed Kakashi slyly, "Hope you have better locks this time, _Inu_." Kakashi cringed and started weeping inwardly.

Kakashi coughed and turned to Sasuke, "So, Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, and Kenjutsu. Not a bad list. See if you can find yourself a good sword, Sasuke-kun." The boy nodded, actually excited for once. He was handed a scroll himself, this one filled with Ninjutsu techniques. "Now, how about you, Devil Child?"

Naruto laughed happily at that, "Determined to milk this for all it's worth before I get you, scarecrow?" Kakashi nodded resolutely, "Alright then. While Ninjutsu would be _awesome_ with my chakra reserves, I'm thinking they're not really appropriate for now. My chakra control is real shit and I'd probably be limited to wide-area or highly destructive techniques that would not always be appropriate. So for now, I'll pass on Ninjutsu." He had a glint in his eye, " _For now_. With that in mind, my main goal is to make my Taijutsu not suck. I'd like to get a weapon as well, but not a sword. So for these first few months, I would say Chakra Control, Taijutsu, and Fuinjutsu."

Kakashi nodded, making a mental note to somehow throw Naruto at Jiraya-sama's general direction first chance he got. Seal Masters were very rare. _Good_ Seal Masters were even rarer. "Alright, not a bad list either. Why not a sword though?"

Naruto shrugged, "Never liked em."

"Well, if you're sure, I won't argue." He started chuckling ominously, "Now, I was going to help kick your Taijutsu into shape, but since you're going to target your poor, frightened sensei on Prank Day…" He trailed off, "I'm going to be too busy looking over my shoulder in fear you see."

Naruto stared at him with narrowed eyes, "You just doubled your dose."

A shiver ran up Kakashi's spine, "Oh, now what will I do?" He wailed dramatically, "My own cute little student has it out for me." He took out a sheet of paper as well as a scroll with various chakra control exercises and Fuinjutsu concepts he believed Naruto was probably starting to learn and handed it to Naruto, "Well, since I will be too busy hiding, if you want Taijutsu help you'll go to the East Shinobi Complex and follow the instructions on that paper."

Naruto took it, a challenging grin on his face, "This means war, scarecrow."

Kakashi feigned deafness, "Well, I will be gone for the next week. I have a mission of my own to complete. By next week, I expect you all to be fully capable of Tree Walking for hours if need be. Additionally, I expect you to be on at least a third technique in your scrolls. If you can Water Walk as well, you'll be rewarded." He smiled, "So with that, I'll see you cute little Genin next week. Ja ne!" He vanished in a puff of smoke.

 **-]|[-**

Naruto held back a yawn as he reached the location the sheet of paper Kakashi gave him had specified. It was four AM, and even he felt the urge to yawn at that ungodly hour. But no sense in wasting the day, so he had roughly a hundred clones at home working on the Fuinjutsu principles taught by the scroll Kakashi had given him, and a further two hundred clones at training ground seven working on Tree Climbing. They also had the order to proceed to Water Walking – which was also in the scroll Kakashi had given him, this time on the Control side of things – if they started being able to do acrobatics on the trees without slipping even if they weren't concentrating. He suspected that wouldn't happen today, but it was worth a shot.

He read the paper one last time and sighed. He could be a clown at times. He knew this, and accepted it. But even he was embarrassed to have to do this, "I'm going to kill that damn scarecrow." He ran a hand down his face, but steeled himself nonetheless. Taking a deep breath, he cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted at the top of his lungs, "Oh dear! The flames of my youth have been extinguished! Whatever shall I do?"

He dropped his hands to his side and dipped his head, completely embarrassed. Thankfully, it appeared that no one was around, or at least not awake. He waited a couple of seconds, before turning and beginning to walk away from the Complex, vowing to get his revenge. He'd made three steps when he heard a surge behind him and a cry of " **YOUTH!** " Dust exploded behind him and he was forced to cover his eyes as he whirled around.

Coughing, he waved away the dust before going bug-eyed at the sight before him. It was a man. Or perhaps a thing. He shook slightly in fear. It was wearing a skintight, lime-green unitard with his red-clothed Hitai-Ate acting as a belt. He had a standard Jonin Flak Jacket unzipped over his green ensemble, and striped orange leg-warmers. Blue ninja-sandals finished off the look. He was lightly tanned and had his deep black hair in a bowl-cut, but it was his eyebrows that terrified Naruto. They were thick like caterpillars. He swore he saw them moving. "Oh kami! Are those things alive?!" he yelped.

The man laughed boisterously, "Are you the poor individual who has had his flames of youth extinguished?" He boomed energetically with a thumbs up and a pinging, blinding smile full of sparkly white teeth. Naruto's eye twitched. So uncool.

"Ah, I just did what this note told me to do. My Scarecrow of a sensei sent me." Naruto deadpanned.

"Oho?" The green thing said, "So my eternal rival has sent you to me?"

Naruto blinked. Eternal rival? "Err, eternal rival?"

The thing looked crushed, ' _Curse you Kakashi._ ' The man thought to himself, a fist shaking in front of him, "Ho, so my eternal rival did not mention me? How rude." Naruto blinked. His eyes were closed for a few milliseconds at most. The man was gone. Naruto's eyes widened as he realized the man was now behind him, "Forty-three to forty-three is our current record."

Naruto whirled around to stare at the man, ' _Holy fucking_ speed.' He thought to himself. That had just been movement. Not even chakra enhanced movement. What the hell was this guy?

The man smiled, "My name is Maito Gai, and I am Konoha's Sublime Green Beast and premier Taijutsu master!"

Naruto grinned, "Taijutsu master huh?"

Gai grinned, "That is correct. I am a master of dozens of styles of hand-to-hand combat. I suppose that is why Kakashi sent you here, is it not?"

"Yeah, he had a mission and he wanted me to start learning a style that would fit me. He thought you could do a better job of it than him."

That seemed to be the correct thing to say, as Gai seemed to visibly get pumped, "Excellent!" He bellowed, "Then to start, we shall warm up! A hundred laps around Konoha to start! And if we cannot complete that, we shall climb the Hokage Monument with boulders tied to our backs a hundred times! And if we cannot do that, we shall run to the Valley of The End and back on our hands!" Naruto listened as the challenges got progressively worse in a growing mixture of disbelief and excitement. "Now! EXPLODE, MY YOUTH!" The madman took off at a good clip.

Naruto shook his head, but he was grinning, "Someone after my own heart, I guess." He took off as quickly as Gai, hoping to catch him.

 **-]|[-**

"Hooo, it's been a while since someone actually managed to keep up with me." Gai exclaimed loudly as the two arrived in Training Ground Nine.

Naruto was slightly winded and breathing a bit harshly, but even as Gai spoke he was regaining his composure. "That's my line, Gai-sensei."

Gai grinned brightly, "Excellent, my young pupil. Now that our fires have been stoked, what seems to be your issue?"

Naruto grinned back. Weird he may be, but the man sure seemed like he knew his stuff. Plus, he was even less winded than he was. An impressive feat in Naruto's mind. "Well, to put it as simply as possible…my Taijutsu is ass. Absolute garbage."

Gai frowned, "I see. You are a fresh graduate correct?"

Naruto nodded, "That's right. The academy Taijutsu was completely unsuited towards me, and they don't teach anything else at that crappy academy. I even asked if there were other styles I could try out, and they just waved me off and told me to go practice the standard style. They're so set in their ways it's ridiculous."

Gai sighed, "My precious student Lee had much the same problem. He had no talent in any of the ninja arts during the Academy." He smiled, "Today he could teach Taijutsu to the instructors. His determination and will caught my attention, and he flourished under my Goken." He eyed the young teen in front of him shrewdly, "Let us see if you shall me the same." He looked the boy up and down, "You are strong." He said, "More muscled than I or Lee. How strong?"

Naruto smiled and walked over to the largest tree he could see. He flung his arms around the trunk, fingers impacting harshly enough that they dug into and fractured the bark. With a grunt of exertion, Naruto thrust forward. The tree groaned as the ground cracked and strained as it was uprooted. It creaked and groaned as it tumbled backwards and came to a halt with a thunderous crash.

Naruto smiled as he threw it onto his right shoulder and carried the massive log back to Gai, who was grinning, "Excellent!" He yelled, "We were needing some new training posts!" Naruto gave him a thumbs-up with a chuckle, "A great display of your strength, and I do have a feeling that I have not seen the full extent yet." Naruto whistled innocently, "It is quite rare for a student fresh out of the Academy to have muscles and strength as developed as yours is. I can see that you handle your own conditioning quite well. Your youth needs no encouragement to burn!" His teeth pinged, "But how about flexibility? How dexterous are you? How acrobatic are you?"

Naruto laughed, "I'd hate to disappoint!" He lifted his right leg – leg straight – and brought it clear above his head. He didn't so much as wobble as he stood on one leg, the other pointing almost 180 degrees in the opposite direction. Then, he swung it down rapidly, hopping with his right leg. His momentum carried into an easy front-somersault, and he landed nimbly.

Gai blinked, before smiling, "Oh, this is going to be quite fun."

 **-]|[-**

Sakura was sitting cross-legged on her floor, eyes closed. One of the most important things for Iryojutsu – or so the scroll had claimed – was the ability to focus even under extreme pressure or very nasty situations. The first scroll in the set Kakashi had given her had made it very clear that the life of a ninja was not glamorous. She could very well end up in a situation where someone precious to her was ripped open, hemorrhaging vital body-fluids all over her. She had to be either prepared for such an occasion, or able to ignore it to make the correct, life-saving decisions. She had to be capable of entering a state of calmness, so that she would not panic.

To that end, she had taken up meditation. It was difficult, but Sakura was nothing if not determined. It had taken her days to even be able to reach a state of calm, but maintaining it was harder. She could only keep it going for a few minutes at most. She was used to success in matters of the mind, and her earlier failures had frustrated her.

But she had succeeded, if barely. She smiled as she opened her eyes slowly, before they widened drastically and she jumped to her feet.

She was not in her room.

Frankly, she was not even in a house, much less her house. She was in a field. A field filled with flowers and, as she turned and looked, a single giant Sakura tree in full bloom. It was really quite beautiful, she marveled. The skies were clear, not a cloud in them, and the sun was shining brightly.

It did nothing to ease Sakura's confusion, "Where am I?" She whispered.

"Where do you think you are?" A voice called back, causing her to stiffen.

She whipped her attention to the Sakura tree, and called out, "Who are you! Show yourself!"

A giggle reached her ears as she saw a figure step out from the tree's shadow. Sakura gasped.

It was…her? But…how? She was standing right there! She scrutinized the figure sharply, and realized a few things. She looked just like her except…older. Not by much, just a few years. But she was taller, her figure more developed. Her eyes were a darker green. She was wearing a pure white kimono that showed far more skin than Sakura herself would ever dare to show. And her smile.

It was much more…vicious. Sakura licked her lips and shifted back slightly, "Wh-who are you?"

The older Sakura smirked, "Why, I am Haruno Sakura, of course." She said primly, taking a slightly mocking curtsey and giggling a bit.

Sakura bit back a snarl, " _I'm_ Sakura!"

The older figure looked surprised, "Ho, and that means I cannot be Sakura as well? Does that mean you don't like what I've done to the place?" She asked innocently, a pout on her full lips.

Sakura swallowed and backed away slightly, blinking for the barest of moments. She yelped and jumped back, finding the older Her was now merely a foot away, smiling proudly. She ran a finger down her younger self's face, gently, "I am you, Sakura-chan." Her hand cupped her chin, bringing her face up to look her older self in the eye, "I am everything you wish you could be." She whispered.

Her older self let go of her chin and twirled away, kimono fluttering as well, "I am every thought you repress." Her older self stated, "I am every action you wish you could take. I am the part of you that wants to get down and dirty. I am the part of you that wishes to _take._ I am your confidence. Your Strength. Your desires. I am the part of you that you _ignore_ –" She hissed, "-because you fear what other would think of you. But make no mistake…I _am part of_ you." She smiled, licking her lips, "And I want _out_."

Sakura gasped, "Bu-but!"

"You can't hide behind a mask forever, Sakura-chan!" She sang, "Nor can you repress yourself forever." She dropped to her knees, taking the younger girl's hands, "We are meant to be partners, Sakura-chan!" She whispered passionately, "Two sides of the same coin! Yet you hide me from the world as if I'm dirty!"

"I…" Tears began leaking from Sakura's eyes, "I'm afraid!" She wailed, "Afraid that I will never be like you! That-"

"But you will be." Her older self grinned up at her, holding up a hand, just waiting for her younger self to take it, "I'm here aren't I?"

Sakura's finger's entwined with her older self's fingers. She smiled, tears still falling, "Yes, you are."

Sakura's eyes opened, her irises a darker green than usual. Her room was just as she'd left it, but she was not the same Sakura who had closed her eyes. She sprang to her feet, showing more acrobatics than usual. She smiled and clenched her fist, feeling much more power coiled inside her muscles than usual. Her chakra also felt stronger, and more chaotic. There was more of it, and it wasn't under her usual precise control. She clenched a fist with a grin, "The boys are sure in for a surprise." She said slyly to the empty house. She closed her eyes, shifting. It took her a while, fifteen seconds total, but when she opened them, her irises once more were the lighter green she had been born with. Her chakra was once again calm, and she was weaker.

But despite that fact, she knew she was more than she had been even that morning. "Yes they are." She opened her hand, smiling brightly, "Yes they are."

 **-]|[-**

Sasuke was sitting seiza, praying in front of the graves of his parents and grandparents. An incense stick had been lit, and a lone tear had trickled down Sasuke's face, "I miss you mom, dad, grandma, grandpa…" He sighed and wiped at his face. He bowed down, "Itachi won't get away with what he did." He swore.

He got to his feet, left hand grabbing at a new item. It was a long, lacquered wooden piece of wood, colored a blood-red. Grasping it firmly in both hands, he slid them apart. A gleaming silver blade slowly appeared as the wood separated. He examined the sword – polished to a mirror's sheen – and then clapped it shut once more. It was a chokuto. He turned to his grandmother's grave, "I will take good care of your blade, grandmother. Rest easy, my family."

He turned and walked away, determination and hatred consuming his being. The wind blew, tossing dried up leaves around the yard as Sasuke slid the door shut.

 **-]|[-**

 **And that's a wrap. I'll admit, the ending there with Sasuke was a little weak, but I didn't have all that much to work with yet. Naruto and Sakura, on the other hand, have changed quite a bit.**

 **Naruto was FAR more OP in the original version of this. Nothing that would actually give Kakashi trouble, but he had way more abilities and supplementary items. I also gave WAY too many hints about who he was being based off of. I toned him down for this version, and will be working him back up.**

 **Sakura…she came as a bit of a surprise honestly. I had not originally intended to take this route with her, but the chapter just ended up…evolving. Inner Sakura was an interesting concept in Canon that just….vanished. You can be damn sure I'm going to have some fun with that. I've seen the concept in a couple other fics, but I can only think of two off the top of my head and only one of which I can remember the name of.**

 **Leave some reviews! Tell me what you liked, disliked… My only request is that you keep the pairing wars out of it. :p**

 **Have a good one!**

 **-Primordial**


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